19.8.08

Dazed and Confused

Heading home from work today, I felt a lightness that I haven’t felt in a long time now. I had a slight grin on my face through out the ride, which left my cab-sharing colleague a little concerned about my mental state.

Couple of issues in my life have been creating havoc and mentally I am tired... just soooo damn tired. One of them being work... rather my lack of interest in what I have been doing for the past 4 years now in my present company.
S'funny that after 8 years of working in sales in different industries I come to a realization - I really don’t wanna be doing what I do. OK so maybe it isn’t all that funny. Ironic probably would be a better word I suppose. Actually I came to this particular conclusion sometime ago – 4 years ago to be exact (... wait a minute!).

So of course, like any sane individual who has no clue where his career is going, I clamped it down and promptly joined sales in a media company thinking probably the change of industry would be what would cure my ails. 52 months later and I get the distinct feeling that God who’s probably lying sprawled on his Divine Couch (that’s right! It IS called that!) smoking his spliff, slowly wagging his finger going, “Toldja ya maaaaann…”.
Yes I do need to work out my religious issues but c’mon you gotta admit God as a spliff smokin’, dreadlock bearing Rasta would look waaayyy cool.

So why am I grinning like a fool? Coz I told them I’m gonna quit. Its incredible once I did it, the feeling I got. Its all doom and gloom in the work-place these days anyhow what with team changes, new bosses, insufficient hikes and below par incentives. All I could think about was the fact that I was free. That feeling was quickly followed by, “You #*%$ing idiot!! What are you going to do now???”

Still I feel liberated. Maybe it was time to move from this place anyhow. I’ve never been one for making close friends from work but I did make a couple here. Ever since they left, this place hasn’t been the same again. Time to move on… into the unknown once again.

Which reminds me - I haven’t given an interview in four years. Damn! I wonder if they still ask those same bullshit questions – “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?” “Sitting in my million dollar apartment overlooking Waikiki and sucking down Mai Tais, thinking about when I wanna take my private jet to the Bellagio to play some high stakes with Daniel, Gus, Phil and the rest of the boys”. Idiota!

And so the hunt begins…

4 comments:

Nimbupaani said...

I know the feeling- Right after you've done something final about the job you've been planning to quit for the longest time ever. It's so damn liberating! Like you actually have a skip in your step. And you can't really stop smiling.
I felt it 2 months back and it is a high!

Happened to come across your blog as I was blog-hopping. Pretty neat writing.

And hey u r 10 posts down. I say that no longer qualifies u as a blogging newbie.

PS- They still do ask the same bullshit questions "tell me about your weaknesses?" (I lose it when people ask me about my weaknesses and choke them to death)

88 said...

lol well liberating and sh*t scared too... the reality of it has sunk in now. Still it beats the down-in-the-dumps attitude i had for the past many months.

Thank you for reading and appreciating my writing. I'd actually come across your blog a couple of weeks ago i think while i was going thru APSD's... loved the name... Nimbu Paani... soothing :)
As for me being a blogging newbie, i think i'll always feel just a wee bit like one... no matter how many posts i'm down.


PS 1 - \_/ a vodka toast to your Nimbu Paani - for being my first ever 'unknown' commentor (is that even a word?!?... aah you know what i mean :)
PS 2 - its kinda strange soooo many blogs i been reading lately written by desis based out of Singapore... wierd...
PS 3 - i really want one of these *sigh*

Nimbupaani said...

Hah yeah I forgot about the scary part. I guess in hindsight you only remember the nice things.

Yeah ur welcome. looks like I'll be a regular.

PS1- Am honored, I get to be one of ur firsts :-P And while we are at it, pass some of the vodka around. Goes well with the nimbu paani u know...
PS2- It has everything to do with Singapore. Those who can, get out, all the rest, blog!
PS3- huh?

88 said...

yay! i have a regular!

Umm yeah... noone has been my first in a while now *snicker* ok I have a slightly dirty mind which will manifest itself from time to time when you throw easy bait like that :)
Don’t say bad things about Singapore… my first visit there was in June and I fell in love… with your MRT. So nice to actually be able to breathe in a train. written about it too.

PS 3 - i really want one of these *sigh* (I was referring to the Sony Play Station 3 there…:)