Can also can, cannot also can lah!

Got back from Singapore a few days back. An impromptu trip courtesy of a friend who for some reason keeps getting tip offs on great flight fares. MK – you da man!!
First off, let me say that I wish I was born with a big blingy silver spoon. I always get struck by the need to feel the Bill-Gates-type-of-super-rich whenever I’m flying. One of my biggest peeves is walking thru Business/First Class to get to my seat. Why Pete why, you ask good reader? Coz I see the absolute comfort that these passengers are going to spend the next 5-6 hours in versus my own sad sad seat in Economy, and then I just feel like hitting someone.
See, this is a bit extreme for me, I normally wouldn’t feel like such violence. However things changed a few weeks back. I’d gone for a friend’s wedding to Dubai earlier last month. On my return trip, I was upgraded to Business Class. *sigh* Now I know what people are talking about… The seats have so much more room. My quite substantial ass was actually comfortable. The food comes in courses!! Not to mention the stewardesses (the nice looking non-Air India-aunty types) who are at your beck and call (“Extra pillow? Sure sir… More champagne, Mr. Fayth?! Comin’ right up… Blowjob? Would that be with or without the humming sir?”).

Anyway back to Singapore – its only when you go to cities (or countries in this case) like this, that you realize what a sh*thole of a city Bombay has become. Don’t get me wrong, I like my city but over the years I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve just become used to it. If I could move to another city, and along with my clothes, pack my family and friends too, I’d be out of here in a heartbeat. In the words of the poet Atif, “Ab toh aadat si hain mujhko aise jeeney mein…"
Loved the infrastructure in Singapore. The public transportation system alone would tempt me into moving there. Imagine the same card S$15 card that enables travel in their buses and the MRT, will also feed you in case you’re hungry. That’s right! You can use the card to buy burgers at McDonalds.

The no-smoking-in-public-places thing takes some getting used to though… I especially can’t understand how you can enforce a blanket rule like that in bars and clubs. I mean come on! These are places where people come to unwind, have a drink or two or ten, be social, sing/dance a bit and generally have a good time. For smokers, its all of that along with some nicotine thrown into the mix. Now I’m quite aware that the non-smoking reader would get a bit ticked off by this. After all aren’t we messing with their health not to mention our own?? First off let me say smokers are pretty accommodating people. We know that we’re this niche, vile, will-rot-in-hell type crowd that will never find acceptance with the rest of the non-smoking world. We don’t want acceptance… just tolerance. And it doesn’t have to be at the cost of YOUR health. Just keep an area aside from the main club/bar area where we can sneak off to, have our fix and be back to enjoy the fun. Its ridiculous that we were partying at this bar located on the 71st floor of the hotel and if I wanted to catch a few drags, I’d have to go all the way to the 68th floor. Reverse discriminators!!
And before anyone can say it, we KNOW its bad for us but we do it anyway. Get a frickin’ hint – it’s a matter of choice. Its kinda similar to the whole veg vs. non-veg thing. I mean do I discriminate against my vegetarian friends?!? Sure I make fun of these people whose unfortunate taste buds will never know the joy of biting into that nice juicy piece of steak. And while they might not know what they’re missing out on but its not like I’m throwing raw animal carcasses into their faces or anything right?!

When I heard it was a "smoking room", my mind conjured up images of those chic Auschwitz-style gas chambers that you find at most movie theatres in Bombay. It was a pleasant surprise to discover that it was not. Met a few interesting people with whom some more bitching happened about the whole “Clubs & Bars are not fair to smokers” topic. Sitting across to my right was this Asian woman with a Nordic looking chap. She was smoker, he was not. He was just there to give her company AND was sympathetic to our nicotine related issues too. The cynic in me thought he’s just doing that to score with her. On the other hand, some of these firangs are a bit nutty so I gave him the benefit of doubt. Of course, the fact that he was at least 4 inches taller than me and built like a tank didn’t in any way influence me.
Also met this sweet lookin’ lass from Glasgow. We got talking and in the tradition of its-a-small-world-after-all, I came to know that she stayed in Bombay (and that too Bandra) for a while a few years ago. We had a pleasant chat about her time in Bombay, living near Shahrukh Khan’s house and rickshaw drivers shouting Mere Bhagwan (although it sounded more like Merry Bagvan from her lips :). She was kind enough to wait for me till I was done and as we walked upstairs, half my mind was caught up in how these firangs are so comfortable striking up a conversation with rank strangers. We parted ways close to where my party was sitting. We said our goodbyes as she hugged me and lightly pecked me on the cheek. Now I turn towards my table as she walks away, and in that dim light of the club I can see the shoulders shaking and hear giggles and snickers coming through from my mates.
Oh well... some people just have no class :D

After the party broke up an hour or so later, I headed off to catch a game of poker; degenerate addict that I am. I’d hooked up with this group on the internet some days before I left Bombay. Bought into the game for S$100 and away we went. Tried to stick to my regular tight aggressive style and although I took a hit in first few hands (lost about 40% of my chips) I managed to recover and make some money as well (cashed out with S$185 after tips). These guys were pretty hardcore gamblers. Prop bets and side bets were happening all over the place. They were running flops twice and thrice just like you see on High Stakes Poker. We also played a variant called Crazy Pineapple which I’ve never played before in all my poker playing years. Was a lot of fun playing a cash game even though I’m primarily a tournament player. I am hoping to go back to Singapore at the end of the year and I will definitely trying meeting up with these guys again. They were so different from my regular group which was something I found very refreshing. More degenerates like myself :D
Staggered home at 6am after having played for a little over four hours and my hosts had very kindly laid out my bed onto which I gratefully sank.

The final day of any vacation for me is always filled with mixed feelings. I had a great time in this place and I wished I could have stayed for more. On the other hand, I get back to home and various comforts, family and friends. MK was telling me she sometimes gets homesick on vacations. I never do coz I know I’m going back in whatever number of days soon enough.
We reached Changi airport around 5:30pm for our 7:10pm departure. Here’s just another reason why I LOVE Changi. Also probably why its been voted World’s Best Airport two years running. In Bombay, from entering the airport till reaching the departure lounge/duty free area took about 2 hours. In Changi – 25 minutes!!! Doesn’t get any better than that.

Did the usual booze, smokes and chocolate shopping for the folks back home. Had a decent flight back and then we landed at Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport for the nightmare to begin all over again. Baggage claim took over an hour… rude cabbie wants to go the destination his way and if we want to take a detour its going to cost us another 100 bux. It starts to rain…
Aaah Mumbai, I missed thee.
Can't wait till the end of the year.

Dāi Huǐ Er Jiàn.