#28. Time an Egg

Came across these while I was trolling... Barney's reasons to have sex (and its pretty obvious which ones he has contributed) just kill me :D
For those unenlightened souls, I'm referring to the show How I Met Your Mother or as i like to call it the slightly dirtier version of F.R.I.E.N.D.S
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/how_i_met_your_mother/community/50_reasons/index.php

Chuckles n Giggles

The Madman's cracked me up recently with these three...

Q. How do you know an auto-mechanic's just had sex?
A. One of his fingers is clean.

Q. How do you piss off a female archeologist?
A. Hand her a used tampon and ask her which period it came from.

and my personal favourite...

Q. What is common between spaghetti and girls?
A. They both wiggle and squirm when you eat 'em.

Chain kuli ki Mail kuli

Didn't go to the office today coz eating seekh kababs, butter chicken and guzzling beer till 2 am just might leave a feeling of utter Gaaaaaaarrrrhhhhh (this is the medical term for it) when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning. One of those f*ck-it-I'm-staying-home days...

So I was going thru some of my olde mails in my inbox and came across a couple that made me grin thru my State of GAAAAAARRRRRRHHHH. Here being posted for your (and mine) reading pleasure...

Backstory - This chain mail began with The Editor (henceforth to be referred to as Ed) sending a link to a Poem which i really couldn't understand too much of since it was kinda shudh Hindi. So I fire the first of the chain (of emails... are you paying any attention?!?)

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BLACKFAYTH- yo Ed, I think I speak for quite a few people marked on this mail who are quite Hindi-challenged. Pls to provide Eeeengleess translation (I know I know… the “flavour” will be lost etc etc but I only understood Pushp = flower… pls tell me that’s right :o)

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ED - It’s about the wishes of flowers… They are telling us not use them for any sort of decorative or commemorative purposes. Their only wish ever is to be scattered on to the paths on which will/are march/marching those fearless soldiers who guard the borders of our country, lay down their lives for us and hence keep us safe.
Another meaning is that the flowers want to be on paths that are tread by those who are the true fearless guardians of all that is truly good. Not all that is true or good for convenience.
(yeah Ed's quite the patriotic softy)

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SING SING STAR - Why are we translating ? Hindi is our mother tongue and we should all be able to read/write/comprehend it!
MIND IT!

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BLACKFAYTH - Er… Hindi isnt my Mother tongue… its Mallu. Not that I know too much of that anyway… all Bombay-ites know a hybrid form of the national language… its like the Toyota Prius of Hindi – a suitable tongue for the melting pot that is this city. Only we understand it…

Pls to see what I mean from below example:-

Giving directions:-
“A” standing at Pot Pourri wants to know from “X” how to get to Carter road…

A: oh Bhaisaab, yeh Carter road kidhar aaya?
Oh Brother Sir (or the Jamaican variant - Oh Brother maaan) this Carter road where it comes?

X: Yeh saamne wala road pakdo… seedha seedha nikalo… pehla left mein bada garden padega… usko chhod ke seedha jao… aagey jaake doosra garden right pe girta hai… uske Just baad right maaro… bas Carter road saamne… yahan se 222 mein ghuso toh pahunch jaoge tapad tope.
Catch this front-side road… straight straight come out… inside first left big garden will be put…. Leaving that (alt. – f*ck that) go straight… going ahead second garden falls on the right… Just (this is important coz even this dude needs you to know he’s cosmo enough use just that wee bit of the Queen’s language) after that hit right… there’s Carter road in front… from here get inside (Bus no:) 222, then you will be reaching pronto.

Alright so I’m fully faltu and just waiting for 6pm…

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Warning!!! *shameless plug via fan-mail ahead*

SING SING STAR - Pete, if you made that whole thing up on your own… it’s a crime to keep such talent hidden! You are born to be a stand up comedian!

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Warning!!! *more shameless plugging*

MK - Dude you’re recognizing his talent today??? I have been telling him this since forever!!!!
But he’d rather do adsales.

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BLACKFAYTH - *blushing* oh stop now…